Wednesday, May 30, 2012

                                                           


Like Toy Moses, I think the hours just before dawn are the best time of the day.  The world is so quiet that small sounds are enormous.  Lucy -- a black lab who showed up here hungry a few months ago -- is noisily lapping from an inverted, thirty year old Tupperware cake cover that serves as a water bowl. Venus, an elderly Basset Hound, is sleeping so soundly that her deep, steady breathing can be heard across the room.  And Little Old Man (a Beagle – so old he creaks) is apparently dreaming of running, probably in the pasture.  His legs are fidgeting rhythmically, tapping the floor in cadence.

Those aren’t all the dogs.  We rescue, so we have a passel.  The rest are lying about on the floor, not making a sound.  (That's Athena, a ridgeback-something mix, pictured above.)  And here I am in all this quiet, with my coffee and my thoughts and a post to write.  My first on this blog.  I’ve started a couple of other blogs, and abandoned them the way some folks dump dogs near our gate.  “I can’t feed him,” those people say, when I catch them at it. And I keep the castaways until I can find a home for them.  Sometimes, that means forever.  I turn out keeping the homely ones, the pitiful cases, the ones nobody is ever going to want.  But y’know what?  I feed their bellies, they feed my soul.

Those other blogs were things I couldn’t feed, and they’re out there somewhere.  Like the dog dumpers, I try not to feel guilty.  I tell myself that I’ll take care of this one properly.  I’ll love it and nurture it and try to feed it on time. 

Of course, that’s the frightening thing.  Feeding it means  writing for immediate consumption. 
   
     When I write a piece of fiction, I labor over it and polish it.  I wake up in the middle of the night knowing a change I must make, and I’m up.  Out of bed.  Hunched over the keyboard.  Nurturing.  But this.  This thing.  It’s a different kind of animal.   This one scares crap out of me.  

     It’s about me, not some fictional character.  This is my life I’m sharing.  My day-to-day.  My feelings.

     I tell myself I’m good with animals.  Just reach out.  Don’t flinch.  Nothing to be afraid of.  Why should this be different?

     So here we go.  Let’s do this.  I’ll offer my thoughts and hope they find a home with you.

7 comments:

  1. I love your description of blogging - "like undressing at a busy intersection". Though it can be a tough thing to feed - and continually hungry - it does feed the soul (and it won't destroy your books, garden hose or favorite shoes, which is more than I can say for our rescue dog.) Looking forward to reading more.

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    1. You have a rescue dog? Than I am officially your friend!! Thanks for dropping by and offering encouragement. (And for liking the description!)

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  2. I recognize and sympathize with those blog-feeding fears. We want everything to be just perfect and polished, but with blogging that's not always possible. Early morning is truly a magical time and I often share it with Zelda, our greyhound rescue. We just celebrated her second anniversary with us, and it's hard to remember what life was like without her. Glad you decided to start this blog :-)

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    1. JoAnn, I don't know where my (earlier) answer to your reply went. Maybe I forgot to click on "publish"?! Anyway, thanks so much for supporting this blog and my work. And give Zelda a hug for me!

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  3. Oh, Jenny ... Your blog is off to a resounding start. I LOVE this first post (and love that you're an animal rescuer; I can't tell you how many strays have landed on our desert property; and how many we've attempted to find homes for. Ours is a cat-only home, so they don't stay with us for too long. You wouldn't believe the kinds of dogs wandering the desert: tiny Chihuahuas that a hawk could pick right up, labs, Australian heelers, the cutest mixed breeds).

    At any rate, I can't wait to learn more about you, even if this blogging endeavor currently scares the crap out of you!

    P.S. I am also one of those "laborers" when it comes to my fiction.
    P.S.2 I think you've started something. The cats are now getting me up at about 4:30. And it isn’t so bad…What???

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  4. Melissa! Welcome to the Pearly Grays crowd!! You'll find the sweetest moments and the most incredible inspiration at that time of day.

    Lord, if I lived in the desert, I might pick up more strays than I could take care of. I cannot leave one behind.

    I intend to post to the blog on Sundays. Hope I can keep turning out things you love! Maybe this weekend I'll figure out how to link to other blogs, and can link with you?

    Have a wonderful weekend!

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  5. Hi Jenny ,
    I really liked your book "The homecoming of Samuel Lake" , you've a style who's cool to read.

    I read in the front of your book you've been a scene writer , and I just want to become that..
    So...I just wondered if you are okay to give me some advices ... To can carry on this way..
    Thanks a lot,
    have a nice day!!

    Jade-Helly.

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